****DISCLAIMER****
if you dont want to hear about me whining and bitching, because thats probably the way that this is going to go, i highly suggest moving to another blog...Now!



for anyone left...

if you havent heard by now either from me, my family or the grapevine, I was in a nasty car accident tuesday morning. first of all, YES I AM PHYSICALLY FINE...i have some bumps and some bruises, and a pretty screwed up mental state but i am otherwise fine.

i was driving in the middle lane on 90e like i normally do on my way into lakewood, it was snowing horribly and it was the fine, powdery snow which is slick anyways. I was going about 45 miles an hour when i saw the car in front of me touch on their brakes, which gave me the brilliant idea to touch mine. BAD F*CKING IDEA!!!! i started to slide and then my breaks locked which sent me spinning through the right lane of traffic and slammed the driver side of my car into a guardrail. Surprisingly enough, i didnt hit anyone else on my human pinball crusade (at least i dont think so because nobody stopped).

after i had a forced dance with the guard rail (it decided to lead) and after i sat in the shoulder completely facing oncoming traffic, i made the call to my mom that was both incoherent and hysterical which didnt go so well and really just made her upset (not because i was in the accident, but because she couldnt understand me enough to help)after that i had to call matt and amy to tell them i would be a little beyond late making it to the apartment that morning. amy stayed with me on the phone while i was rambling upset and confused (and probably still incoherent due to the intermittent crying fits) until i uttered a phrase i never thought i would utter in my natural born life (and probably after tuesday will never utter again)

..."Oh goodie!! The police are here for me"

so two westlake police cruisers showed up and of course waited with me until the tow truck came to take my car away (they said that the only reason they were towing my car was because it didnt have headlights and was dangerous at 7am) in the meantime, my mom was on her way to the scene and the cops told her that she would have to wait at a BP station nearby because it really wasnt safe for her or other drivers that she pulled on the side of the road (makes sense...my car and two police cruisers in the shoulder really was enough of a menagerie) . one of the officers gave me my police report that i had to fill out (i had to fill it out because i was the only one that was involved in the wreck) i had calmed down some while sitting in the police truck waiting for the tow truck to come and take my twisted, damaged car away and was even making jokes with the officer about me being on the traffic report

after waiting what seemed like forever in the snow and slush, the tow truck finally comes for my car. It wasnt until they started to lift my car up on to the flatbed could i really see some of the extent of the damage....i couldnt help it but i started to bawl again....mainly because i was still shaken up but also looking at the damage and realizing i wasnt seriously hurt. i was able to be delivered to custody of my mother shortly after the tow truck pulled away. Due to the fact it was inclement weather that caused my crash (damn that mother nature really IS a bitch) i wasnt cited at all for the wreck (to be honest the cops never even took my liscense)

for a few days i couldnt sleep due to the dizzy spells and for the fact that everytime i closed my eyes all i saw was spinning and headlights. and with the bouts of crying fits due to lack of sleep and being shaken up from one of the worst *and hopefully ONLY* accidents of my life, i've been a wreck.

now to the aftermath....

its almost a week later and i
1.) still dont have a vehicle
2.) still fighting with bouts of dizziness
but now there are few more emotions thrown into the pot....

here's a small backstory on me and the way i tick

i'm an extremely independent minded person! however, i will go above and beyond out of my way for those that i care about and love. since the accident, i have been forced to have the tables turned on me and to be completely honest i'm really not digging it!!! I'm really not used to having people cater to my needs or feel like they are obligated to because i'm broken. i've been staying with friends in lakewood during the week (because matt and i are on the same shift and carpool anyways) so i cant help but feel like i'm imposing on them (they keep reassuring me they dont mind, but i still feel like i'm freeloading and thats just me) saturday night i found out that it would take between 2-3 weeks to fix my car (so far we're up to $5,100 dollars of external damage....who knows how high it will go), which basically sent me into meltdown mode because it finally hit me...

...at this point and time i have NO control over anything in my life....

i have no car, so i cant drive myself anywhere or complete any errands i may have. i have to ask someone to drop their life to take me somewhere

until tomorrow i have no eyes, while bouncing around the inside of my car like a pinball, my glasses were pretty much annihilated...so i'm wearing an older pair that brodymonster has chewed on (the left ear piece is making behind my ear raw and just owwie)

generally just kind of woe is me feeling and vulnerable, which in my mind translates out to

W E A K N E S S (another feeling i hate)

so thats basically whats happened, i'm feeling like a piece of spun glass.....really fragile. i havent been ignoring you all i promise....just dealing with all of this (or attempting to)

so thank you to my friends and my family who have let me (or made me depending on who it is) lean on you in my time of distress

no really, they do!!!


and really not fun at 7 am


thats all for now because i'm dizzy as hell

So rather than going down my entire friends list.....Here We Go!!!





Have a Great Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, Raamadan or whatever it is you celebrate this time of year!


Hopefully Santa (Or other Figures) Bring you all that you asked for and more and may you spend time with the ones you love (or are forced to)

Enjoy!!!!


Happy Holidays


oh and P.S.
officially one week til the Birthday for me!!! woo hoo

okay so i am definitely broke until the end of the month but it was SOOOO worth it!!!

i got my laptop!!!!!!

and actually for what i wanted to spend BUT i also got a digital camera and a photo printer included...A W E S O M E!!!! my laptop is black and shiny and has a fun design on the front *squeeeeeeee*


so all day i have been playing with my new toys! yay for hp!!!


more to come tomorrow but tonight has been an eventful evening and i need to know how to deal with it

So monday was my last day at GetGo. It was kind of wierd because it was like every other day for the past 10 months. The only things different were the people i worked with all hugged me as they left( or i left depending on the time) but in the end it just felt like another day...kind of struck me as odd i guess. One of my friends i work with actually sent a gorgeous flower arrangement to work and surprised the hell out of me (i've NEVER been sent flowers at work or school) was a nice feeling to say the least... so now as we speak i have 6 whole days off to enjoy, decompress and get psyched for the new adventure (well 4 evenings are spent in bay closing "Fools") ahhhhhhh vacation!!! weeeee

the show has been going semi well...i have one actor that is continually a problem child but since the director basically pulled him aside and let said actor know that i the almighty stage manager was really ready to murder him, Actor has attempted to play nice. We close this sunday after a 4 day run (thursday, friday, saturday and sunday) made some good friends and more than likely an enemy or two..oh well such is life...Saturday night apparently my parents and my dad's side family (uncle and aunt, cousin and hubby)are all coming to witness the humor...which means dinner at crapplebee's afterwards...should be entertaining at least.


my dancing is coming along nicely. taking classes on tuesday nights and actually made it to the intermediate class...weee!!!!!!! tonight i made it through (roughly) the routine for waadi...its a fun number and restores my confidence that maybe i can do more with my body than just flail around to music! yay for me


it seems like the next couple of weekends i'm booked....this weekend is closing weekend for the show, next weekend is Rocki's UnWedding Day, the weekend after that (shocker) i might be free unless i decide to trek out to andover...and now the 27th i got roped into a murder mystery with RBQ and Bunnykins....okay roped in wasnt the appropriate wordage.....they had a dropout and asked me if i would do it...since i got my first taste of it in january at Ohayocon i'm kind of hooked so i said yessum....after reading the script it sounds like it'll be a blast so i'm looking forward to it. it would be the first thing i've come close to acting in for a bit (i have no clue what the hell is going on with the youtube project...maybe i should give chris a call and say hi)

things with brad are going fantastic!!!! we had our first date thursday the 27th. it started out at Caribou to talk and hang out....well that turned into a full blown movie and dinner date...i turn into a giggly school girl whenever i talk about that or him for that matter...the first date didnt really seem like a first date at all...i felt SOOO comfortable and like i had been in this situation a thousand times before...so this is what its like to be in a relationship and be happy at the same time...holy hell a girl could get used to this!!! i'm so looking forward to november so i can see one of my fave comics with my newfound fave guy....okay i'm going to move on before the rest of this section starts giving people diabetes from all the saccharine sweetness

tuesday i start the new job as a credit analyst for Bank of America. still super excited about it because its a "grown up" job lol and for once i'm actually not embarassed to tell people what i do for a living. its going to be rough seeing as i have classes to get my lending authority which allows me to function and do my job...that part kind of makes me nervous but i'm going to go in on tuesday to kick ass and take some names (notes as well because those will be e x t r e m e l y helpful at a later date) but regardless i am pumped up and beyond ready to open this chapter of my life....again MAJOR HUGE GINORMOUS thanks go out to RBQ and Bunnykins for all their help and confidence...love that family!

finally, my cousin is doing better after her surgery. I spent some time with her recently and had a great heart to heart chat. She's feeling frustrated and helpless because there isnt much she can do. Thank you to all of my friends and family who have been there for ME while going through this family issue....what i feel is only a fraction of what she's going through. all the kind words and prayers and letting me whine and flip out hasnt gone unnoticed and i appreciate each and every one of you! LOVE Y'ALL!!!!


alright now...my eyes are starting to droop which means i have about 10 mins to make it to the bed before i pass out

if you made it this far...congrats and thanks for letting me take time out of your internet time!!


*hugggggs* to all that want or need em

Mo

so friday morning i went on a job interview for a credit analyst with Bank of America out in Beachwood...on the way out there i was a psychotic bundle of nerves....but for some reason everything felt calm when i walked through the doors

about an hour and a half later...... I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!

i officially put in my two weeks notice with getgo and start the new fantabulous job on October 9th!!!

lots more going on....will write a more detailed blog later on


BIG HUGE GINORMOUS thanks to RBQ for all his help
(and of course the bunny too)

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

grawr!

that pretty much sums up my mood for the weekend! friday was hit with another low blow to the family health woes fight...this time its my cousin erin...gave bunny her birthday presents which she giggled and adored (yay i did good)

saturday was stuck at work from noon-8..thats always fun...i dont know what my company's deal is but scheduling me as the only cashier for upwards of 4-5 hours BY MYSELF is just not funny anymore...but every damn time i'm at work...i'm usually by myself. and i especially love when my bosses are put out that they have to come and assist me because i have a line wrapping around the store and out the front door...my bad! after work met up with bunny and her family for birthday drinks at the drink cafe...had an amazing Grape Popsicle (finally i go into a bar and they make my gotdam drink RIGHT....never knew it was that complicated)

worked noon-8 again on sunday...good times!! NOT!! was having a total "Clerks" morning...i'm still amazed at the lack of human intelligence...working there and seeing the winners society spits out on a daily basis is enough to frighten the living hell out of me....so yesterday everyone pretty much sucked because of all the dumb stupidity (i realize that last statement was not only bitchy, but redundant....oops) my shitty mood has carried over for yet another day....we're up to almost 2 weeks of pure bitch now...FUN...god i need out of there BAD!

today was an adventure trying to replace my iPod transmitter for my car...needless to say..it cleaned me out for the week! nice! getting down to andover on friday should be interesting (if i even decide to go now because surprise surprise my darling father has pissed me off yet again)

so i've decided i'm going to pull a nicole ritchie so i can find clothes that fit...it sucks because i WANT to lose weight and look like a normal member of society...but i eat when i'm emotional.....and thats all i've done for the past few weeks because life has decided to take a serious dump on me...so i eat..and its usually junk or stuff equivolentally bad for me...and then i feel worse so i eat more..yeah for vicious cycles....so yep...i'm all about eating a cheerio every 3 days....whatever works!

sadly, mommyb is having problems with my lolita costume...i feel pretty bad about it because i know she has her own life and stuff to deal with and i really didnt think that the costume was going to be so much trouble when we started...didnt mean to make her life more complicated...grawr again

so yeah anyone know where a fat girl can buy a poofy petticoat (preferably black or bright ass hot pink) and not drop a car payment on it>!?! muchly appreciated


i believe i've bitched enough for an evening so i'm going to bed to recharge the batteries


until later

i'm sooooooooo excited!!





tonight at 11:59 i'm GOING TO SEE THE SIMPSONS MOVIE



(yeah i'm a nerd....so bite me)



this is my one movie to be a giggly fangirl about!!!!!





yay!!!



and bunny is the best sister ever!!







hehe that is all...this blog had no point...just a place to be all giggly and excited!!! weeeeeee



hehe i just wasted 10 mins of your life and you cant have em back so pfffft



"it tastes like burning!!!"

"Sugarcult - Pretty Girl (The Way)"

Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything
Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about
That's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head

It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love

She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
Her killer instinct tells her to beware of evil men
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head

It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love

It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
Love

Pretty girl, pretty girl

Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything
Pretty soon she'll figure out
You can never get 'em out of your head

It's the way
That he makes you cry
It's the way
That he in your mind
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love

It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
Love

so last night out of the blue turned into a BAD night!! started feelin really just blah and emotional and supremely un-attractive. there's probably some chemical that can regulate this shit lol well the un-attractive feeling started back in january i think when i found out that ex-boy cheated and lied...and its been a pretty steady downhill slide ever since. my recent online dating experiences really havent helped (i.e. 32 yr old with no liscence and 5 kids or the 44 yr old unemployed comedian) next please! i mean i thought i wasnt some hideous fucking chud of a person (lol sorry watching clerks 2 and they just said that...so i used it) but lately i'm definitly feeling defective...plus i wish i could go out with my friends this week...but due to a serious lack of fundage and gas....i'm home with the brodymonster


maybe things will look up next week!

.....


i'm done with guys for a while if not all together!

friday was supposed to be date night (and john's time to pay up on his end of the bet) we called me once in the morning and said things were still a go for later that night.

and i know you can all tell how this ones going to end...

the designated time comes and goes and no john (surprise surprise)

so i tried to call to make sure he wasnt dying in a ditch somewhere covered in flaming car parts (which probably would have been the only excuse that i would have accepted last night) and here's a shocker, HE DOESN'T ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE!


so what i'm trying to figure out is what the hell is it with me that makes me so defective lol ugh i quit!

i wish i could just get the feelings out of my head for him as well as the feelings for one of my friends that i'm still not sure how to deal with......or even what to do with them....any advice would be greatly appreciated from my friends

damn me for being a chickenshit

hmmm where to begin...


lately at work we still cant seem to iron out scheduling issues...one of two things usually happens 1.) we have wayyyyy too many people and not enough crap for everyone to do or 2.) we dont have enough coverage so the skeleton crew that is there is seriously busting ass to get people out the door....well yesterday was option number one. i came in and there were already 3 people buzzing around the registers (oh joy!) so i clock in and jump on a register...about an hour and a half later between waiting on customers and helping stock smokes...my office manager T was like ok one of you is going home because we have way too many people here...so of course no one speaks up and is like "oh sure i'll go home and lose money" well they decided since i was the last one in....it was my day to be cut loose (thats JUST what i need, losing more money) so i called up bunny and asked her what time she got out of work..she told me and i said i was going to swing home and change and then meet her at the apt. she asked if i was feeling brave i could come downtown and grab her from work to which i agreed.

after changing out of the getgo garb, i got a little bit of gas and headed downtown. I made a call to Chris (the guy who wants me for his YouTube project) him and i chatted for a few mainly because i hadnt heard from him in a couple of months and i was wondering quite frankly what the deal was...he told me that his personal life pretty much went splodie and he was having trouble getting back on track. i understood, hell i've been there multiple times and feel his pain. He really does seem like a nice guy because he apologized probably close to 50 times in the 15 mins we were on the phone. after i got off the phone with him my phone was singing sublime's "date rape" again (whew i was a popular girl...lemme tell you what) upon answering the phone its John (CB or Christmas and Birthday Boy to some of you) for those of you reading i'll give a quick summary of John's and My quasi relationship....we've been seeing each other for going on 5 years now...i would probably do anything for this man and i never can be mad at him for more than hours (everyone has someone like this in their pasts, he just happens to be mine) now he's gone as far as to tell me he had been thinking for a whole year about us becoming "Us:the next generation" but because he is a die hard workaholic (he installs and maintains computer security systems all over the country) and has no signs of slowing down, a conventional relationship sadly will probably never work....so its basically been 5 years of phone calls, text messages, and a pity hook up basically twice a year...BLAH!!!! surprisingly John and i were on the phone the entire way downtown, which slashes the record of us usually being on the phone for 10 mins tops because he's either getting another call or he has to go back to work or a meeting. I really wish sometimes that i would just throw in the towel and be done for good with him....but when i get the strength to do that, he comes along and does something to sweep me back in...bastard!

after i finally got off the phone with john, Bunny and i headed back to lakewood for some awesome pita sandwiches from Liquid Planet *mmmm chai* and then back to the apt for some movies and online tomfoolery....we watched "The Court Jester" with Danny Kaye and Angela Lansbury...i was actually surprised, it was pretty good! definitely one i'll have to look into...after the silliness of classic comedyshe popped in an anime movie called "Howl's Moving Castle"...i was super excited about this one because it had Christian Bale's yummy voice talents...mmmm dreamy! and again, very surprised and that one will DEFINITELY be coming into my collection soon.

about halfway through "Howl", mom came by to grab Bunny and I for class. we grabbed a quick bite at McDonalds (note to self: no more mcdonalds...EVER!!! gives me angry chewbacca tummy) after the debacle of trying to order (and it was still wrong) we had a nice convo and enjoying our munchies. i'm kinda glad our stay was rather shortlived because the ghetto mcdonalds rather frightened me lol and then it was off to class! mom kind of gave me a lil ego boost. after my class(of which i worked my lil tookus off thankyou!) her and i were talking off to the side and she had made comments about how quickly i was picking the steps up and it looked like i was becoming more confident and it looked like i knew what i was doing. kinda made me blush and go awww at the same time... sheesh i really need to learn how to accept compliments because with everything i've gone through in the past...i really suck at taking compliments from other people mostly because i'm waiting for the shoe to drop and then the nasty snarky comment comes out to bite me in the ass...should probably work on that!


i'm kind of bummed because due to my lack of fundage, like always, i cant get together the idea i came up with for the gypsy/pirate costume for the Ren faire in a few weeks. Sure i can wear it whenever but i really wanted to have it for "pirates" weekend at Great Lakes...BOO!!! in other costuming news, i still have to connect with mommyb at one of the bellydance classes so i can bounce some ideas off of her for the lolita costume i would adore to have for Ohayocon in January...i have the basic color scheme and idea(its all being centered around the wild and crazy purpley pink psycho grandma geisha wig i got from the mission back in may....and the basic idea i have for the dress is going off of the dress from Alice in Wonderland) i already have some fabric i found a while ago with Bunny which we can use for an apron and leg dealies...but its a matter of getting the measurements and then going forth to find the fabric that i like for the dress...all of which costs money...bah i wish i could catch a break and find a job that pays worth a damn...or just a break in general....anyone?!? anyone?!?! bueller? bueller?

hehehe i'm becoming a complete ren faire and con geek now....one more thing that Bunny and RBQ have gotten me to try that i actually enjoyed! i'm really looking forward to more excursions to Great Lakes for the faire and then looking forward to spending my birthday in columbus for the con. yay for new horizons!!!



there are some emotions and feelings i have been trying to figure out and deal with. basically i think i am developing a crush on one of my friends...the problem is i havent really known them for all that long and i dont know how they would feel about me. recently,they have expressed emotions that they werent happy with and i just really wanted to reach out and be the comforting role...but then again in doing that, my feelings would be revealed and then there would more than likely be extreme awkwardness...which is something i avoid like the plague....ARG!!!! but who knows maybe it wont blow up and might actually work...what makes it harder is i have a limited amount of my friends who i can openly discuss this topic and they wont think i'm some huge gigundous heathen freak lol we'll see....maybe they'll go away =0)

well enough blogging for now because the migrane i've had all day is kicking my ass...i have some vintage john waters to go and watch

54 things about me.

1. Do you like chinese food?
yes I do….its good comfort food


2. How big is your bed?
Queen

3. Is your room clean?
occasionally the moon will align the planets just so and yes my room actually appears clean

4. Laptop or Desktop computer?
desktop with a bitchin flat screen

5. Favorite comedian?
wow so many to list, Stephen Lynch,Gabriel Iglesias, Pablo Francisco, Carlos Mencia, Jeff Dunham, Lisa Lampanelli, Elvira Kurt…okay so I could be here til the second AND possibly third coming of Christ if I named all of my favorite comics…I think you get the drift

6. Do you smoke?
i used to

7. Does anyone like you?
everyone loves me!! I rock!

8. Whats the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice?
sexy? Condoleeza Rice? I do believe that sentence is a crime against humanity….now go strip down and join your friends with bags on their heads and form a pyramid

9. Would you rather receive amazing oral sex or have amazing sex?
I have to choose!?!? But but but cant I have both!???

10. Sleep with or without clothes on?
I toss and turn and sleepwalk, so nakie night night time would probably be a BAD idea for all parties involved!!! Either boxers or pj pants, with a tshirt, tank or a hoodie

11. Who sleeps with you every night?
brody

12. Do long distance relationships work?
not for me…I don’t recommend them


13. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
hehehe lets just say my foot is made out of some sort of metal and I have made several “Donations” to a few cities, even a few counties….nuff said!

14. Pancakes or French Toast?
depends on the mood

15. Do you like coffee?
I love the smell of coffee…..i mean hell I hide in coffee shops with my sketch book for hours on end…but I hate the taste of it…..give me a chai any day

16. How do you like your eggs?
no longer clucking!!!! And after that….scrambled with cheese

17. Do you believe in astrology?
I do….but the stars do enjoy to fuck with me lol


18. Last person you talked to on the phone?
my mother

19. Last person on your missed call list?
daddy

20. What was the last text message you received?
"calli sux....headed to a meeting...call you later?"


21. McDonalds or Burger King?
will eat mcdonalds or burger king if there are no options.....give me chipoltle or moes

22. Number of pillows?
I’m rather a pillow whore…I have one of those long body pillow things, four pillows on top, then two huge teddy bears *from exes mind you* and lots of throw pillows for when I curl up in odd positions watching tv or writing

23. Last thing you ate?
currently eating a turkey sandwich on toast

24. Last thing you bought?
diet cherry vanilla dr pepper

25. What are you hearing right now? Brody barking at his reflection, my mom telling a story about how she fell asleep at a red light this morning and the clicking of my computer keys


26. Pick a lyric.-
"How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of girl who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt"


27. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
no jelly…just peanut butter…occasionally with some honey or marshmellow

28. Can you play pool?
kinda, I suck…but I can mainly keep the balls on the table


29. Do you know how to swim?
hell yeah… I love swimming

30. Favorite ice cream?
ben and jerry’s half baked cookie dough and brownie batter

31. Do you like maps?
not particularly

32. Tell me a random fact:
I get caught all the time by strangers rockin out in my car

33. Ever play spin the bottle?
Yes

34. Ever attend a theme party?
yessum I have….it was rather entertaining



35. Ever done a keg stand?
can honestly say I never have

36. Craziest place you've slept after a night of drinking?
no where too crazy….i think I’ve crashed on friends couches

37. What is your favorite season?
fall and spring

38. What is the first music video you ever saw?
I seriously don’t even remember


39. Pick a movie quote:
just one!?!?!? Holy jesus ok here goes:The Shawshank Redemption:Heywood: The Count of Monte Crisco...
Floyd: That's "Cristo" you dumb shit.
Heywood: ...by Alexandree Dumb-ass. Dumb-ass.
Andy Dufresne: Dumb-ass? "Dumas". You know what it's about? You'll like it, it's about a prison break.
Red: Well we should file that one under "Educational" too, oughten we?

40. Favorite quote: “I don’t wish to make money, just be wonderful”—Marilyn Monroe


41. What is your favorite Thirsty Thursday hangout?
it used to me McCarthys but i havent been there in ages....kinda quit heavy drinking for a while

42. Best friend's name?
i dont have one best friend. i have several

43. How long have you known them?
any where since i was 3 til now

44. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
I laugh at stupid shit ALL the time

45. What time did you wake up this morning?
5:05

46. Wake up next to anyone?
brody was sprawled all over the pillows


47. Best thing about winter?
the way the snow clings to the tree branches

48. Name a couple of favorite colors:
blue,green, black,red, pink

49. How Old are you?
23

50. What month is your birthday in?
January


51. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated?
pirates are awesome...hence why i'm making (or attempting to make a costume)

52. Favorite Dave Matthews Band song (if you have one)?
definitely crash….has a nice chaotic yet sweet feel to it

53. What are you doing this weekend?
probably going to andover

54. Who will take this survey?
dunno…..post it back bitches lol

Lately, Lets say the past 5 years or so my "dating career" has been ANYTHING but normal. Its had its share of hills,valleys,highs, a LOT of lows, speed bumps and a few laughs for the sake of variety but for the most part it always has the same outcomes:

Confusion...followed by....

Pain....followed by...

Tears...and of course bringing up the rear

The strong desire to become a lesbian!!!

Ask any guy to try and explain the glorious mystery that is Women and he will come up with 9 million and one excuses but the bottom line will be that no one man will ever understand a woman. The way we talk, the process of getting dressed and why we get up to pee in large groups. Well first off, that theory is severely flawed! There is a large group of people that understand women very well actually. We call them Gay Men. No offense boys but honestly who understands a woman more then a gay man because gay men are women with a penis!!! Anyways guys, i'll let you in on a little secret....Come Closer.....Closer....Closerrrrr **SMACK** okay too close..... WOMEN ARE NOT THAT COMPLICATED!!!! Women have 4 basic emotional needs in a relationship...

*Affection

*Security

*Honesty... and above all else

* COMMUNICATION!!!

Seriously, if you guys could do these 4 things with most girls you'll be golden.

Now I say this because lately i have been finding these guys who for the sake of my rant we'll call..Douchebags... Now these douchebags can acell in one, two or even the rare three of the aforementioned areas. But never yet has there been one that posesses all four! Usually the qualities that lack are honesty or communication which is leading me to believe that if you have a penis you therefore are incapable of communication.Rank it up there with the seven wonders of the world **The Pyramids, Stonehenge and a man that can actually communicate with the opposite sex** Hell if i could find one of those in my lifetime i would most likely die of shock! Anymore then that and i would have to call Ripley's!

I also dont understand the big fuckin deal about being honest with a female.Now personally the whole "my girl doesnt let me go out with my friends" argument makes me giggle. "Go out with my friends" usually means heavy drinking, possibly a game of cards, and almost always ends up at a nudie joint. I flat out laugh at my girlfriends who get all hyper because their man is either going or has gone to look at what are usually fake boobs. Me? I dont give a shit!!! Go!!! Have fun!! Leave me alone for a few hours! I've gone to a strip club with an ex of mine before and hell even sat there and bought him a lapdance lol Why you ask? Two Reasons...1.)He cant touch anything on her so he has to sit there and suffer with wood which is almost as entertaining as watching him squirm....b.) i know he's coming home with me at the end of the night. SO whats the big deal about looking at boobs that arent mine lol variety IS the spice of life ya know.A lot of the ex douchebags were floored i encouraged "boys night out". What i couldnt emphasize enough was i didnt really care what they did when i wasnt around as long as you either gave a heads up or didnt lie about it. For some reason this always proved to be a problem for the male gender. A simple phone call or quick message is aparently comparable to brain surgery or self castration! Here comes the part i would always end up tearing my hair out on ** i'm growing used to the fact that i will be bald by the time i turn 30 if i keep dating idiots**.This is where the calls and messages stop coming all together which means one of 3 things:

* He's lost the capability of speech or writing

*He's cheating or has moved on without cutting ties

*Has decided to become a trapist monk and has taken a vow of silence for the rest of his natural born life.

Now which of these answers would YOU choose. Take your time i know the monk scenario is tempting.In my case its always option b.If you really would like to move on to someone you deem better...great wonderfull and yippie for you...All you would have to say is "I want Out" and poof wish granted.When the time comes and i confront the douchebag to call him on his bullshit this is the conversation:

Me: Why didnt you just say you were that unhappy?

Soon to be EX douchebag: I..uhh ..umm well i didnt want to make you cry or piss you off or hurt you!

WHAT THE FUCK!?!? Let me give you yet another insight as to how Mj opperates.Its usually better if you decide to fuck up to piss me off! here's why. If you happen to piss me off, odds are it will last a few days and things will be back to normal.then there is no need for DEFCOM 5. Depending on the offense you'll generally be forgiven and you can keep all appendages *usually, there have been cases otherwise* but oh lord if you take the other road and hurt me. Once the chance is gone, my trust/faith is busted with you and your "Get out of jail free"card is gone...thats it...Do not pass go do not collect $200! Game over ! You're Done! i may or may not forgive you then and even if i do its harder then hell to get back to where you once were before fucking up...teeheehee



Okay boys and girls what did we learn today:

Boys are dumb and you should throw things at them!

Good men really ARE hard to find

Never Pet a Porcupine **oh shit thats next weeks lesson**

and COMMUNICATION! COMMUNICATION! COMMUNICATION!

my "best" just isnt good enough!!!





i didnt get my dream job at BW....surprise surprise!





i wasnt even good enough for an interview....surprise surprise!





so now i'm upset...



...surprise surprise!



moral of the story is



i'm never going to get to go back to college....



i'll be in my parents house until they die...



and i'll be stuck at a dead end job in a fucking gas station til I DIE



the end

bah!

i have so many things swirling around in my head at any given point, and its all a natural kind of flow...but when everything starts bubbling up to the surface at once....thats when things get messy.

i dont even know where to start except to say that i can feel myself slipping into a funk. i know the feeling well and have done it before where i get emotional about pretty much everything on the planet and it pisses me off....so yeah...i feel it coming.

i'm losing some of the momentum that i gained when boy and i split....like for instance when him and i called it quits i vowed that i would go ahead and start bellydancing and eventually perform with the troupe...but lately i find myself doing excuses and having a lack of energy. plus i feel bad on fridays if i take class because everyone else is so much farther ahead of where i am and bunny's mom has to make a special exception for me and slow everything down...which really isnt fair to her and its not fair to the other women in the class. maybe i'll get back into the groove so to speak and ask bunny for private lessons so i can catch up. who knows

relationship wise its a big ol rollercoaster....like before....i might just pull the emergency brake and hop off that train for awhile again...i was all for being single when boy and i split but then "the new guy" came along and it seemed almost too good to be true...but i'm not sure how my immediate family would react to the situation of him not only being older but a few other things as well...things that dont matter to me by any stretch of the imagination, but i know how my family is and the jokes they tell at christmas....would throw a wrench into the happy lil world that we have. then on the other hand...i have one guy that no matter where i am in my life i will always go weak in the knees for because i have such strong deep rooted feelings for. lately it almost seems like guy no. 2 is making an effort to try and make "us" work....maybe i'm reading too much into it and letting my heart and my emotions do the driving while my head takes a nap in the backseat....ack..... i dont get it....i can play "Moprah" all day long and wax philosophic about any number of my friends relationship issues and provide advice to no end...i actually dont mind, nay enjoy helping my friends through their issues with the love life.....but when it comes to MY love life and MY relationships....i'm as clueless as a ditzy chick doing astrophysics....ARG!!!! bah i just dont know what to do...i hate the fact that i am impatient and i need the instant gratification of knowing what life has instore for my love life...BAHHHH!!!!

moving on before i'm required to take anger management classes again!

my parents are moving ahead with something that was really kind of random...and it all started last saturday.

last saturday i really wanted to throw darts with friends of my family and my parents...so before work i asked my mom to make a few calls and see what transpired...i got a few messages on my phone during the day and when i called back to see what the fuss was about, my mother informed me that the one friends were busy...but other friends of my family had invited us out to their trailer in Andover (near pymatuning) to kind of relax...little did i know my parents actually had alterior motives. after the 2 hour drive out to andover, my parents friends lay on me that the older couple that has the trailer next to theirs is up for sale, AND MY PARENTS WANT IT! now i've been up to this campsite for probably the last 7 years but this was the first mention of my parents (specifically my father) being interested in getting a place out there. my father....the man who will argue about an extra 17 bucks on the phone bill, took all of a half an hour to decide he that he is set out to buy this property no matter what...the man never ceases to amaze me! honestly! so providing all goes well with the bank (which i'm told shouldnt be an issue) i will have a little getaway on a lake away from home to destress and unwind...i'll keep everyone posted as to what happens.

another thing that is starting to drive me crazy is something everyone has heard me bitch about lately, because its really getting to me.
.....MY JOB........

oh how i loathe the getgo, moreso everyday! i mean i understand everyone's feeling the pinch from the pump, but honestly how the hell am i personally responsible for the major oil companies anally raping the country with a dildo wrapped in sand paper and coated with habanero oil extract being gently forced into their asses by large, hairy psychotic homeless people... me personally in my little peon job...hmph! i dont know how much harder i can hope and pray for this BW job to come through...i have honestly never wanted a job as much as i want this one. it's a win win situation for all parties involved....BW gets a hard working, ethical and talented employee where as i land a stable job with set hours, benefits, the opprotunity to do something i love and a job i could grow with....everyday i dont get some sort of notice kills me.....damn impatience.

tonight after work i headed out to bunny's for an impromptu date night....we hit the little studio on madison for the dress rehearsal for the hafla in columbus...the girls all looked fabulous and the routine has come so far, it's amazing! i got to see the harem pants that becca had made for me...the fabric is an awesome blue and white lil starry pattern, and it goes with my colors should i ever climb out of the beginners class...bunny helped me to get the elastic in the waistband and the ankles so i have some super poufy, ultra comfy harem pants!!! yay!!!

so after much consternation on wednesday night about the whole not going or going in to work on thursday, i went! ugh needless to say i was not too happy with myself once i got there. dealing with people who are bitching about the disgusting price of gas at me alllll day long when you are sick is NOT fun at all (just a tip if you ever happen to be in that situation) god as the prices stay how they are, i long for that job at BW to come through.

speaking of which if your reading my blog (all three of you) and i havent told you yet about my hopefully new and fantastic job opportunity. I have applied to be the secretary for the Dean of Students at Baldwin Wallace college. its a dream job because it utilizes all of my strong points PLUS it will allow me to go back to college dirt cheap. i think a degree from BW wouldnt be too shabby. but sadly we're going into the summer semester so i'm not entirely sure just how pressed they will be to put someone in place right away (and those of you who know me....know i'm the most impatient bitch on the planet...two words....INSTANT GRATIFICATION...and NO not like that ya damn pervs)

moving along...

i got a text message from bunny asking if i indeed went to work. i told her yes but i would swing by after work if she wanted to hang out....so i promptly got on 90 at 5 after 4 and made my way to lakewood. i picked up the bunny and we headed back to westlake so i could cash my check (or attempt to...stupid giant eagle girl!) and then off to max and erma's for some tortilla soup (which i learned that tortilla's soup may be the best thing to eat when you have a stuffy nose) lol it actually cleared up my sinus issue, til i went on a sneezing jag and went back to sounding like froggy from the little rascals..(DAMMIT) after max and erma's we headed back to the apartment to watch CLUE and hang out for a bit...when i turned onto the street where the apartment is, thats when the real fun began.

i saw a spot RIGHT in front of the building (which is always a good thing seeing as lakewood RARELY has places to park lol) the only issue with the wonderspot was it was in between two other cars...okay so i grew up learning to drive in the suburbs and paralel parking WAS NOT on the agenda...but i was going to have to if i wanted the holy grail of parking spots....i got the front end of lilly in the space alright but then the task came of bringing her butt closer to the curb so she wouldnt be hit...i was using my mirrors and i just was not getting it lol i made bunny get out on the curb and try and direct me which still didnt help (i'm sure her neighbors were just LOVING this show of driving prowess) so finally i said the hell with it and turned around, drove halfway up the block, turned around in some random person's driveway and was bound and determined NOT to let this space go to waste....as i approached the spot i could see bunny on the curb still laughing at me...i cut the right front end of lilly in really close to the other car (but thankfully didnt hit) came up to the front car....and straightend out enough to where i wouldnt get anihilated by a passing motorist...i finally had done it! lol okay so maybe paralel parking just isnt for me lol

i think i'm going to start chronicling my driving adventures...because they DO happen quite frequently, and usually when i am out with bunny (but not always...i have some glorious DUH! moments all on my own)

hmmm what else...

in other news

so monday afternoon when i got home from work....i found my first eBay package sitting in my mailbox...the 3 tone long silky playboy ginger wig...hehehehehehe i put it on and its total sex hair (long and tousled and it just looks fabulous) the seller i found it through is really nice and super awesome, so i will definitely be doing business with her again...hopefully i will get the other one i won on today in the mail...so then i will have "Sex Hair" and my "Jessica Rabbit" wigs(it seriously looks like the hair they put on Jessica Rabbit in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" because its cartoony, and long and BRIGHT EFFIN RED) yes i have taken to naming my wigs lol deal with it! i still want to hit wigland when i get a chance and scoop up that black and burgandy one (hopefully its still there.....damn no fundage....ANOTHER reason why i need that BW job) and ben said to me that he has a sexy wig from the minute and a half he was interested in drag....so i'll have to scope that out.

but the time has come for me to go cash in a check and some lottery tickets to get some breakfast and come back to the house and enjoy my new day off.....weee!

about a couple of weeks ago i got this email from NEohioPal (northeastern ohio performing arts list for those of you who dont know)
anyways... it was from this guy named chris who was looking for a plus sized actress for a youtube comedy video....after reading the traits he was looking at for this character, i gave him a call and expressed interest...



well today i met him for coffee at this lil diner in north olmsted called "Cafe Stratos" (cute place) and he had me read some of the dialogue that he has concocted for this lil short sketch.



needless to say....










I'M GOING TO BE IN A YOUTUBE MOVIE!!!!

okay so it may not sound like the loftiest of goals to have but its a big deal for me so act supportive bitches lol who knows i might be the next "numa numa" guy?!?!? he said i was exactly what he was looking for and was surprised that i hadnt been on stage more than i had (hmmm probably cause community theatres in lorain county dont like fat actresses lmao)

anyways, i'm super excited that for once i was actually what the director was looking for lol woooo my bad audition streak is over (for now)

oh one last thing......i left my phone at bunny's last night so if your trying to call me....i wont have it before tonight and thats why its dead and you have to leave 9000 voice mails!

oh good lord..i think i've created a monster
hehehehe so since i've decided to start bellydancing...i've decided that the dancer in me will obviously be my alter ego.

she has no name yet

BUT this also gives me a chance to experiment with my appearance, which means...


I'M GETTING INTO BUYING ALL SORTS OF WIGS!!! hehehe

i went after work with my girl T to this place in elyria called"wigland" it was an experience....and kinda creepy lol (wall to wall hair pieces in all shapes,sizes and colors....not to mention the rows and rows of mannequin heads)

i think i found one that suprisingly was only 34.99 (which isnt really that bad seeing as i want a longer, full, curly wig....which usually are more expensive) so i will be going to snatch that up in the next couple of days

on the way home T made a comment about wondering about buying hair on Ebay (seeing as you can buy pretty much damn near everything else) so when i got home and i FINALLY got my dinner (stupid delivery place) i set out into the magical world of eBay....now i've never been really exposed to eBay but now that i have...its kind of like crack!



i spent most of last night and this morning looking at various wigs and even put in a bid or two (for once i actually didnt feel technologically retarded lol) so depending on how things go you may start seeing pictures (or me in person) with a new hairdo every week lol yaaaaaaay!

if anyone else has an idea where i can get me some cheap hair that i dont have to pay an arm and a leg for around here...i would greatly appreciate it



sooooooo yeah this blog really had no point to it...just me babbling about eBay and synthetic hair and the fact i'm a dork...enjoy your livejournal-ing and search for internet porn lol

okay so i just found out this morning that Huntington is doing one of my favorite plays of all time, COMPANY,(and one of the plays on my "i want to be in before i die" list)...audtions are sunday and monday...so now i'm having major confidence issues


i really want to do this show...its a dream of mine and would seriously be fantasmic if i was cast...buuuuut the tough critic in me is rearing is nasty little head and is going "okay do you honestly think you can keep up with other people auditioning and their chops" which to a point is true...i'm not the strongest singer on the planet and i will be the first one to say so, not to mention the songs i've fallen in love with in this show are harder than hell to sing (warped speed lyrics anyone) BUT in all fairness i can belt out a jazzy tune if the mood calls for it. although i still maintain to this day the only reason i got "Forum" a few years back was i was good friends with the director lol

i dont know what i should do... a huge part of me is dying to get back onstage after almost 4 years and like i've said it would be a dream if i was cast in this show....

and then the other part of me is fresh off the rejection from the audition for "Over the Tavern" (another show i really really wanted) which is where my self doubt is coming in...BAH!!!!! well i have a few days to find music and practice the hell out of one of those two songs before the audition....any painfully honest advice is always of course welcome

https://tvshowplanet.info/index.php?productID=171


ALL of the seasons of the muppet show.....10 DVDS for 23.99

hmmmm i think not!




write more later